Forever Alone (5/15/17)

So close, yet so far away
Why didn’t I listen to what the past had to say?
If time tells the truth
I should listen to my youth

All pain, no guy cares
Missing laughter no one shares
It’s all the same
Everything ends in shame

Stolen moments pass to quickly
& boys’ kisses never miss me

Peoples’ words never hurt
Until they lose what they mean
Their definitions are different
Than what they seem

Sometimes I cry
& I know exactly why
Forever alone
Scared to die without a home

Almost in heaven
Almost a dream
Caring never felt
Now doesn’t that seem mean?

They say they don’t know
How others could pass
But it feels the same
When things don’t last

Saying means nothing
Words are just excuses
But you mean everything
Leaving nothing but bruises

Wounds on my heart
[From] the moment we part

Don’t tell me one thing
When you really mean another
Share me with your family
Tell your father & your brother

I miss you daily
I miss that walk of life
But when you speak to me now
I feel nothing but strife

I hate missing you (5/23/17)

I hate missing you
It’s just something that I do
It brings me heartache all the time
I’m still wishing you were mine

I love you so much, don’t you know
It hurts me so bad, when you go
Every time I hear my name
I’m wishing from your voice it came

I write about things you’d think would make me cry
But I still feel numb inside

I miss your face
I miss your smile
I miss the way you held me for a while

Playing with Perspective :)

So yesterday I decided to try something different that I haven’t done in years. I wrote from a friend’s Point of View. I took what I know about his situation & put his thoughts into my own words. He shall remain anonymous, but here is the result:

 

4.5 years down the drain

Was it wasted or was it just insane?

People can pry, but they’ll never know why

It was my own decision to fly

 

We met at night

Lived in the dark, not the light

But we grew apart

& now I get a fresh start

 

I may not know how

But I’ll find my own way

& I’m not gonna listen

To what others have to say

 

It’s not their job

To decide my fate

I’m a grown man

& that’s something I hate

 

I make my own tracks

& I spin ’em in the club

I drop hints for the girl

That I low key love

 

Smoke ’til no one

Can see my green eyes

So when she saw them

She was so surprised

 

Stay up every night

To watch the sun rise

& socialize with strangers

I don’t even recognize

Quote

The Spark Inside

One day, whether you

are 14,

28

or 65

you will stumble upon

someone who will start

a fire in you that cannot die.

However, the saddest,

most awful truth you will

ever come to find—

is they are not always

with whom we spend our lives.

-Beau Taplin

This quote could not be more accurate to my life right now! This week has been both the best week of my life & the worst week of my life wrapped into one, all due to one person. Here are just a few of my own personal sentiments for how I feel about it…

You’re in my  heart, you’re on my mind,

maybe that could be a sign.

Not that thing, you took to be,

when you left me.

That was a false alarm,

brought on by too much fire.

We pushed too hard, we rushed too soon,

should’ve let things happen naturally.

We made mistakes, but I wish you could see,

that doesn’t mean we weren’t meant to be.

Those gut feelings, that first glance,

I wish you would give us a real chance.

Those feelings are true, what I meant to you

baby don’t push them away.

You say you don’t deserve happiness,

but no one is meant to be alone.

I hope this phase comes to pass,

I wish you’d pick up the phone.

You swore you’d fight for me, 

now baby let me fight for you!

~Kimily Trehern

Women are a prize to be cherished

This is my final post of the day & like the others it is going to be short & sweet! I just want to share something that has really been on my heart lately. & that is that ALL ladies (& men for that matter) have value & deserve to be loved and respected. I realize that some people aren’t as good at showing affection as others, but ladies, if a man isn’t making you feel loved & wanted & even needed, he may not be the man for you. A man who loves you & cherishes you will be so proud of you, he is happy to brag about you or show you off to all of his friends. Again, even if he isn’t super open about it, you can tell when a man is proud. You should NEVER feel like your man is trying to keep you a secret. If he is you either need to confront him about it, move on, or both. It is not okay to feel unappreciated & swept under the rug. Again, this goes both ways, both men & women should make their partner feel loved, but I am just speaking from a girls point of view here. If you are with someone who doesn’t treat you like the sun shines out of your ass so to speak, I personally would take a step back & examine that relationship. Because I can guarantee you that if the person you are with doesn’t think you are the greatest thing that ever happened to them, there is someone out there who does! & I genuinely believe that. DO NOT SETTLE FOR ANYBODY!!!!!!!!