Whose Reality?

What is a reality for other people may not be your reality. Stop chasing what isn’t yours & focus on what you have. This is something I struggle with practically 24/7. I am always seeing things I want, longing for things I don’t have. Which is stupid. I have so much to be thankful for! I feel like this has become a huge issue in current times. We live in a world where we are raised to expect instant gratification. Don’t have the body you want? Why eat healthy & work out when you can just get plastic surgery? Hungry, but you don’t want to cook or put clothes on to go out? Just order food to be delivered to your door. The list of things we can acquire at the drop of a hat is endless. It has become the new norm for people to slack on the work & expect the same results. Who needs to study when you can cheat? Why practice when you can sabotage your opponent? It’s utterly ridiculous! 

The truth is we aren’t meant to have everything. We have to find what we love, what we want, what we care about more than anything else in the world & work for it. Work to get it, & work to keep it. Whether it is a career, a trophy, a body, a score, a talent, or anything else, if you care about it, put in the effort! Think about your most prized possession. Unless you are a complete brat, I’m certain you can think of something, or someone, you care about. When you are attached to something, or someone, you want to protect it right? Take care of it. Polish that trophy, so to speak. You wouldn’t throw your nicest china to be shattered on the ground. Whatever that thing you care about may be, treat it as such.

Something that occurs too much in today’s society is people chasing people who already belong to someone else. As always, I am not a perfect person, but I must say one thing I absolutely can not stand is someone chasing a person who is already in a committed relationship, specifically marriage. If a person is already taken, move on, & find your own! Here’s a little secret: once a cheater, always a cheater. If he/she is willing to cheat on their significant other with you, why on earth would you be daft enough to believe they wouldn’t cheat on you with the next best thing to come along? But enough of that.

My point is, you can’t just expect to get everything you see or want. If you have access to read this, that means you have internet, which puts the whole world at your fingertips. & yes, there are some things, which given you have the funds for, you can acquire at the touch of a button. But some things don’t work that way. & even if they did, they are better earned than just received. Think again about your prized possession. Why do you care about it so much? Perhaps it’s a family heirloom. But, perhaps you won it in a competition. You worked for it, you earned it, it holds meaning. 

This holds true with relationships (circling back). When you find someone of significance in your life you work to gain their trust, you treat them with respect. This is not always an easy task. But if you care about them, if you don’t want to lose them, you will continue to treat them with respect. They are a prize, so polish that trophy, make it shine. You will get out of a relationship what you put in. Relationships don’t just happen, they are acquired through work, trying to impress each other. They are maintained through even harder work, treating one another as you each deserve. So don’t go barking up the wrong tree. The tree may be well defended, & even if it’s not, you may be trespassing. 

Be grateful for what you have. Of course, you should always strive to achieve more, that’s part of self growth & development. But be realistic & know that some things just aren’t meant for you. Love & respect the things that are. ❤

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I’m Not Immune

I wrote most of this 6/20/19 but then put it on hold. Having passed a huge milestone in my life yesterday, I finally feel like I can relax & focus on my writing for the first time in a long time so I decided to go ahead & post this.

Just like everyone else, I am not immune to things like negativity, bullying, hard-headedness, or having my feelings hurt. I try to hide my emotions from the world most of the time, but sometimes they come out anyways. I am an extremely opinionated person, & thus have a strong stance on most political subjects. Because these subjects are so controversial I try my best to avoid them on social media platforms so as not to instigate debate. That’s not to say I am always successful, & I have definitely made some questionable posts, most of which are later deleted. 

For those who believe in astrology, I am a Leo. As lions, we are very proud creatures. We like our egos stroked, but we are also often easily offended when they are not. Luckily over time I have developed some pretty thick skin, but my feelings can still be hurt. When that happens I have a major tendency to lash out. Whether that be at the person who caused the pain, or an innocent bystander. Typically my pain emerges as anger, & I have a difficult time controlling my anger. That being said, I am also one of the quickest people to forgive. I basically let myself get walked all over because people quickly realize that I will forgive them unlimited times no matter how bad they hurt me because I always believe that there is good in a person. I do believe it is possible for people to change, knowing however, that they have to be the one to make the decision to change & that is often unlikely. 

Sorry, I got a bit off topic there. The point is, I have strong opinions & I want them to be heard, but as I discussed in my last post, that isn’t always for the best. So this post is just to say I apologize to anyone I ever have, or will, offend with my writing. I am sorry. I am not perfect & neither is my writing; & my opinions are subject to flaws as well, obviously. Well there is my apology, but I urge you, when you post things, be it a photo or a video or a song or writing or whatever it is, think about how others may interpret it. & always remember, the next generation is watching, you are shaping the future. ❤

6/16/19 The Love We Deserve

As I listened to a sermon today on the importance of Christ-like relationships I became excited, while also frustrated. The sermon was about the importance of wives submitting to their husbands, whom are in turn intended to love their wives as Christ loved the church. As usual, religion aside this sermon held a lot of great advice for couples.

The lesson was that women are called to submit in a such a way that they are not presenting barriers to their husbands to lead the household in a Godly manner. They should love their husbands in a way that makes the husband want to be better for them. Husbands in return are meant to love their wives as Christ loved the church. With “sacrificial, purifying, caring, & unbreakable love.” I won’t dive into the breakdown of those, just know that men have a very important, yet extremely difficult task of honoring their wives & leading them in the right direction. Husbands were not intended to take advantage of the wife’s submission, rather use it as inspiration to treat her with this incredible love. 

As the message went on single women were called to be patient. Not to submit to just any man who walked into their lives, but rather to wait for the one who would earn their submission & would treat them with the respect they deserve in return. This sounded so empowering! Women have the right to choose. If we all actually did this, held out for this kind of loving connection, how different our relationships would be. 

With this power in mind I began to question, why is it this sounds so enticing, but I have such a difficult time being patient? The answer is simple, & a quote from The Perks of Being a Wallflower, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Until we learn to love ourselves enough to truly believe we deserve to be treated right, we will not be willing to wait patiently. It will be a constant battle to avoid or cut-off those who misuse & abuse us. Therefore, self-love is once again the focus of a stable relationship foundation. Until you can learn to love yourself, you cannot expect someone to love you in a way that you can not. Until you can love yourself, you can not submit yourself to that person properly. As we fill our own cup with self-love, we have more to offer others. 

Women are called to submit, which requires a high level of trust. That trust cannot be offered up to just anyone. Save it for someone who will do right by you, someone who appreciates all that you offer & wants to honor your submission. Men, be trustworthy. Earn your woman’s submission by treating her with respect & leading your household in an honorable manner. ❤

Why Me?

If you’re anything like me you may have spent your whole life searching for love in all the wrong places. Going after one failed relationship after another. The older you get the more desperate you become, it seems, to find love & settle down. Everyone else is doing it right? But how many of those people are actually in happy, successful relationships? As I look around I see more divorces, more broken homes, more miserable humans than loving, in tact couples. 

Having come from a family with no divorces in its history & two wonderful parents who are making their 40th anniversary this year, I have a very strong opinion of what a marriage is supposed to look like. Perhaps that is another reason why I have been so unlucky in love. I have every intention of going to the grave married to the same man who is my one & only husband I will ever have. In which case, I am not willing to settle, & neither should you! Don’t waste your time & money hopping into an unstable relationship just for the title of it or because you feel it’s what you should do or because you are so determined to find love. 

As I so often write about, & so often have to remind myself, life is a game of waiting. It is not fun, but you are not in control & it’s better that way. It’s less of a headache when you aren’t trying to control every move of your life & more exciting too.

But, if you are wondering why it is taking you so much longer to find love than so many around you, you may begin to question what is wrong with yourself? I am here to tell you today that perhaps the problem does not lie with you. Perhaps the problem is in finding a person who is good enough for you. People can tell you this as much as they want just as I am doing, but until you grasp this concept for yourself, as I did today, you will never be satisfied.

If you are not willing to settle for mediocrity, if you are determined to find you perfect mate (keep in mind everyone has flaws), then you may have a longer journey to travel than others. For me, however, as much as I would like to claim the title of dumper, I have been the dumpee more times than not. I have been treated poorly, ghosted several times, & been utterly refused in just about every way humanly possible. I have asked what was wrong with myself more times than I can count stars in the sky. But, today it finally seemed to click. You hear all of these peppy quotes about how love will find you when the time is right & phrases reassuring you you are worthy. But, just like everything else, until you believe that for yourself, those are just words. I’m sure what I am saying may just be words to you today too. It is only because things have finally clicked with me that I am able to say this with true conviction. 

Just continue to work on yourself. Because as you grow & improve it becomes increasingly difficult for someone to be worthy of you. That helps narrow out the riffraff. Just be patient, because that means it is going to be that much harder to find your perfect mate. & your perfect person may not be ready for you yet. They may need to mature more before they are ready to take on a relationship. That is a two way street. Your future spouse may be just as anxiously waiting on you, but you are not in a position to fulfill their dreams yet. So as you grow, know that they are growing too. You are both maturing into the people you need to be for each other in time. That time just may not be now. Do not end the journey towards self improvement due to being discouraged by rejection. Rather continue to develop so that you are ready when your person is ready for you. Then you can thrive & flourish together. ❤

Positive Voices

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I can make an impact. I, like everyone else, just want to have my voice heard. But, I want what is heard to be positive. I want what is heard to inspire people. I want to truly make a difference for the better. I do not want to speak out of ignorance or raise my voice to fight. If that be the case, my voice is better left unheard. I posted recently about my frustration with YouTube having a thumbs down, aka dislike button. My point was, if you don’t like it, don’t thumbs up it. Simple. No one cares about your negative opinion. Spread positivity only. 

The problem in today’s society is so many people are fighting to be heard, people feel the need to trash others to bring their own voices to the light. Negativity only breeds more negativity & this is not beneficial. What ever happened to the old phrase, “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all?” Why don’t we preach this anymore? I do believe it is important for everyone to feel heard, for everyone to feel like people notice them & care about them. I do not, however, believe that everything people have to say serves a purpose. As I said for my own words, if they do not offer something positive, they are better left unheard—so it is true with others.

I have a theory on why people are fighting harder & harder to make themselves known these days, & it basically stems from the way they are raised. If we are given the proper love, attention, & care we deserve as babies, children, adolescents & even in adult relationships, we do not so desperately seek these attributes in unnecessary or inappropriate ways. But I won’t go into any more detail on that now as it can be a sensitive subject.

Tanner Petulla, better known by his stage name, Getter, said just today that “The world’s negativity has gotten way too out of control recently… & it’s almost a chore to say something nice.” This is such a tragic, but all too true fact. What would it take to change that? One of my favorite quotes comes from Nelson Mandela, a brilliant man! He said so many wise things, which I highly recommend reading. But one of the things he said was, “No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, & if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” 

As the old saying goes, darkness is simply the absence of light. There is a lot of darkness in the world we live in. Yet, that darkness can all be driven out with light, which is far more powerful. All it takes is a few beautiful, brave souls to set out on a mission to make the world a brighter place. So today’s question is, which kind of person will you be? Will you shower the world in the darkness of your negativity? Or will you be the sunlight needed to grow a kinder future for our planet? ❤

 

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I do not own the rights to this photo.

Archives are Important

The more we try to erase the past, the more we will see it in the future. Memories were created with a purpose. So we could learn from our previous mistakes. If we don’t remember what we did wrong we will continue to make the same mistakes over & over again & again. 

Today we live in a world where people strive to be politically correct. A world filled with hatred among humans & resentment for the past. Racial animosity & friction betwixt the genders are at an all time high. But, WHY?! We are all humans, we are all equal, we should all be treated the same, right? But, we aren’t. Here’s where I will sound negative for a second. The world ain’t fair, so deal with it! Not something you want to hear, is it? Of course not. But, it’s the truth. This leaves us sentient beings with two options. 1. To work as hard as we possibly can to achieve our goals, despite our birth bound setbacks, which may include having been enabled too often. 2. Blame others for not being treated the way you want to be treated.

I don’t even honestly feel the need to go into depth on option one as it seems pretty straightforward to me. The harder you work, the more you will achieve. Yet, there is this whole other side to that, which ties into option two. Why aren’t we working to create a world, in which everyone is treated equally? When we place blame on others, we are giving them the power to control our thoughts & feelings. This power is a right, which should remain your own. 

The solution is pretty simple, quit placing blame & instead strive to treat everyone as you wish to be treated yourself. This is, after all, the golden rule. If everyone treated each other as they wanted to be treated in return, the world would be a better place. So often this is said, but so rarely is this theory put into action. We get so distracted by placing blame, because it is the easy thing to do. It is a cop out, instead of accepting the responsibility that the reason you are not happy may actually have nothing to do with the color of your skin or which reproductive organs you have & may in fact be more about your own view of yourself. Do you see yourself as a success or a failure? Are you satisfied with who you are? 

Today is not the day I will talk about finding your own self worth, or how to love yourself. Today I am writing about possibly the biggest issue with our current society’s infatuation with the concept of political correctness. The issue with it is, the “blamers” would like to erase the past. First of all, let me point out. This is impossible! It cannot be done. The past is what it is, & it cannot be changed. Some dinosaur probably once pooped where you now eat. Don’t like it? Too bad! It is a fact. When we realize that the past is a fact, a statistic set in time, then we can begin to shape the future. Circling back to what I said in the first paragraph. Our brains were embedded with a recollection archive. A memory, a database whose files can be retrieved by their owner at any time. 

Just like our memories, historical records hold significance also. When a criminal gets a “record,” it is there so that people know how many times the criminal has done what wrong in attempt to prevent future occurrences. Why then is it important that history is remembered? To learn about things like wars & unethical treatment of humans by one group towards another—be it religion, race, gender, age, or any other reason—learning about these things is how we prevent them from reoccurring. A lot can be learned from any bad situation. & since the past has  already taken place, why not use it to learn from? Let’s learn from mistakes that have already been made & go forward avoiding making the same ones again. So back to the problem. These blame placers today just want to pretend like the past never happened. They want to remove artwork—original masterpieces, change flags, ban the pledge, avoid singing the national anthem or other lyrics, remove key events from text books, etc. All because these things are too “offensive.” What is offensive is that we have not used these historical mistakes to learn how to treat each other with kindness & respect. You would think by now we would have gotten the point! Yet, here we are. Just remember, the less history there is to learn from, the more likely those same issues will present themselves in the future, possibly even multiple times. ❤

The Ultimate Doctor

The full technical term for my job is an echocardiography sonographer. In simpler terms, I do ultrasound of the heart. I always joke around saying, “come to me all you who are weary, & I will find where your heart is broken.” Of course, I am completely kidding when I say this. I can’t actually see a hurting heart, but I can evaluate the structure & function of your physical heart finding any irregularities. It is my responsibility to discover anything wrong with the heart & document it. I then write up a report & submit that along with my study to the cardiologist (heart doctor).

Unfortunately, ultrasound is not a perfect science. It has limitations. The visibility can be affected by quite a number of things making the study particularly difficult to read, & if you aren’t able to get exactly the right angles, your measurements may be off. These limitations can lead to misdiagnoses or even failure to diagnosis a current problem.

Wouldn’t it be cool if there was a perfect doctor? There is one, God. Not only does he make no mistakes, but he specializes in everything! He knows every area of the body like the back of his hand. He designed it after all. He is a cardiologist, a gastroenterologist, an oncologist, a neurologist, a podiatrist, an orthopedic specialist & so on. He specializes in pediatrics, geriatrics, anything in between & even unborn fetuses. He knows everything there is to know about the human body & he can see it clearly. 

He can see what’s inside of you better than any earthly technology, all of which has limitations—CT, MRI, x-ray, ultrasound, etc. He sees everything clearly, he knows every cell of your being. He is your creator. Maybe it is just because I work with the heart daily, but I like to think that is his favorite organ too. Not only does he see your physical imperfections, but he, unlike me, CAN actually see what burdens your heart. He knows why you are hurting & what causes you pain. He may not heal your physical issues & we may never know why. He will leave the cardiologists employed, let them do their job fixing your bloody, pumping flesh. But, if you turn to him he can heal a broken heart. 

No psychiatrist or psychologist in the world, no amount of meds or therapy, can ever dissolve all of your problems. Even when we trust someone, we leave some things undisclosed. But, God knows our hearts, he knows what’s inside. He can seep unconditional love & forgiveness & mercy into every unknown crevice. He fills your heart with these beautiful gifts until they overflow, spilling into the rest of your body. So, trust God as you would your doctor. Cardiologists spend many years in school learning the intricacies of the heart, but God created it. He has specialized in it for more years than you have hairs on your head. Lean on him. He says, 

“Come to me, all you who are weary & burdened, & I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28 

Turn to him, let him take an inventory of your heart, trust that he designed you with a plan in mind & trust him to be your doctor. Let him aid you when you’re sick, carry you when you’re weak, & love you when you feel alone. ❤