Expand Your Mind

The mind is such an amazing thing. We don’t really consider it a muscle, but in all actuality it can, & should, be exercised just like a muscle. I’ve often talked about exercising the mind in terms of building self control & focusing on positivity. Today I would like to add another ability of your brain that I feel deserves a good, consistent workout. 

Your creativity & imagination are just as important as any other aspect of your mind. Now, by this I don’t mean you need to create an imaginary friend, & become consumed with a fake reality. Rather, expand your mindset. J. K. Rowling once wrote about imagination being the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. To see their point of view. Reading is a great way to broaden your horizons & experience different points of view. Yet, as much as I love to read myself & hope others enjoy reading the things I write; we cannot rely on this alone. Reading allows you to peek into the mind of someone else. We can often gain insight in this way, yet those ideas are not original. 

It is important to think for yourself. Read, study, watch the news, do whatever it is that you enjoy doing. Learn about things happening around you, whether you feel they involve you or not. By seeing what is happening in other places in the world or to other people we can often learn how to prevent similar issues happening closer to home. That’s my political input for the day. But, enough of that!

I only say this to make the point that the more informed you are, the easier it is to develop your own personal opinion. It is such a beautiful gift to think for yourself! This does not mean you have to disagree or argue with everyone. It just means you know better who you are. It frees you to be your own person, a nonconformist. Granted, the concept of free thought scares most, as they don’t know how to experience it for themselves. Do not let the close-mindedness of others prevent you from opening your thoughts. 

I have often come to corners of my mind that frighten me. However, recently, when I reach a place that makes me uncomfortable, I just sit there with the thought & allow myself to work through it, instead of trying to instantly switch my brain to a happier place. Through this process I have experienced the unlocking of parts of my brain I didn’t know existed. 

As the meme below states, “You have an eternity to think inside the box.” Choose to be different, choose to be bold. Not just to be obnoxious & prove how smart you are, rather to experience the freedom of control. Challenge your brain, make yourself think, ask questions. Don’t settle, don’t become complacent, don’t be one of the herd. Be YOUnique! Be prepared, as you will be judged when you step outside the box. But, know that regardless how you live your life, people will judge you. So don’t let the opinions of the small minded individuals threaten your ability to be who you are. Stretch that muscle that is your brain! ❤

Self Published… FINALLY

I finally did it! I typed, formatted, & (self) published my first book. A collection of my poetry from the last 10-15 years or so. I am more proud of some works than others, however, it is all a part of who I am. You can now download an ebook version or a hardcopy by following the link below. I apologize for some of the formatting being off. It was my first time doing this & I was so excited to complete the project I probably didn’t focus on that as much as I should have… Please check it out, buy it, share it… Let’s get the word out! I’ll be starting on my next book soon. It will be focused on the power of positive thinking. ❤

http://www.blurb.com/b/9293428-random-bits-of-my-brain

 

 

Musical Chairs

Life is a game of musical chairs. I’m just tired of always being the last one left standing. This week I have once again been struggling with the belief that I am lagging behind in life. I am well into my 28th year of life & still struggling to find a job in the medical field (which I have a degree in) as well as someone to walk through life with. As always, this is a frustrating, disheartening mindset. But as such, it can be controlled. 

I’m sure you have heard quotes similar to the following: “you can’t control the situation, but you can control your reaction.” While this may sound cliche, it is in fact true. I experienced two highly negative issues this week. One affected me more than the other as one occurred to my friend & one occurred to me. As I listened to my friend venting about her struggle it was easy for me to stay positive & encourage her. Remind her how lucky she was & help her focus on better things. Yet when later that evening I had my own aggravating encounter, I was quickly saddened & let my anger take over. I spent the entire following day allowing my emotions to control my thoughts. 

I finally realized what I already knew, that emotions affect your reaction. When something negative is placed in your life, is easy to act quickly based on how the event makes you feel. This is not always a bad thing, sometimes we have an overwhelmingly positive reaction to things. But if we let our emotions run our mind, we will often find ourselves crouched in a corner of disappointment. Even the most outwardly confident person contains self-doubt. I read somewhere that our brain often underestimates what we are capable of. This is why we constantly overthink things. Only a true sociopath can live a life with a clear conscious. The rest of us, while some more than others, will premeditate or ruminate on things we cannot control.

While you are free to make decisions in your own life, so are others. Meaning, despite any decision you may make, situations are not always going to have your desired outcome. This leaves you making follow up decisions. We cannot control everything that happens in life. That is a simple fact. What we can control, is how we react. Emotions are not a bad thing in & of themselves. Yet, they are powerful, & when we act on them without any logic they can take control. 

Next time negativity strikes, take a step back, breathe, & try to organize your thoughts before acting out. Keep in mind that your reaction to a situation will, in many cases, affect someone else. Don’t ignite a chain of negativity. Learn to turn the other cheek, without allowing yourself to be walked on. Most importantly, stay focused. When we set goals in place & work towards those we will continue to move forward. Choosing to control your thoughts & emotions is certainly a difficult task, but it is so incredibly important. I have written before about this self control being a muscle that must be exercised. So do not be lazy! Work on feeding your thoughts into a river of positivity. Sift through, removing all the bad. Only let the good flow through. Your reward will be a happier, more carefree life. Do not rush time, it cannot be controlled. Let go of the need to be in control. ❤

“Forever I feel like a record on repeat

Time is pendulum, back & forth it swings

Yet time only moves forward on this planet that we live

People pressure time & they beg it to give

As my words remain the same

Time is constant; doesn’t change

The older you get the quicker time passes & the less you posses

So when life slips you by, then you begin to stress

Without being God, you can’t slow it down

& all your fun moments swim by & you drown

You’ll rush life away

But you want certain moments to stay

You can’t pick & choose

Time won’t be abused

So try not to wish your short time away

Be fulfilled by each moment; let every second stay

Stretch time out, as long as you can

Marinate in the now, don’t focus on future plans

The present is all the time you are promised

The future isn’t guaranteed, so with yourself be honest

Enjoy where you’re at, don’t return to past thoughts

They can’t be changed, & your present will be lost” ~Kimily Trehern

 

 

Hardened Hearts & LOVE

A few days ago my friend posted a quote that touched a nerve & inspired me to write. I’m posting the quote below, along with what I wrote later that evening. I wasn’t sure I was ready to post it on my blog, but I have since changed my mind. 🙂 Feel free to share your thoughts. ❤

“Strength is not staring into the face of love with a hardened heart, it is staring into the face of hardened hearts with love.”

Not all hearts are hard

They’re just afraid of love

But those hearts that are hard

Can be restored with love

 

Love is a powerful thing

It can heal or it can wound

It depends how it’s presented

If it hurts or if it soothes

 

Hearts are malleable objects

They’re molded by circumstance

They take the shape of the space between

Each loving blow & painful lance

 

Warm moments leave bubbles

Where the heart swells wide with joy

Cold hours leave deep craters

That sink in from tissue destroyed

 

Where a soft heart has been injured

It is not filled with any air

This makes it difficult to breathe

It’s rigid it is impaired

 

When love is applied to a hardened heart

It heats & smooths the shell

It allows the air to rise within

& restore the outward bell

 

A heart, which has loved

& then been torn apart

Will look upon this subject

& feel afraid to start

 

Yet, when we look with love

At those hearts turned into stone

We can melt & shape them over

’Til they know they’re not alone

 

So look upon each heart

Shining love on every side

& do not fear to enter love

With your own heart open wide

“Living for Each Other is the Rule of Nature”

20180420_152909Today I struggled with picking a topic to write on as I was scrolling through memes & quotes I have saved over time. Many caught my eye & tugged at my heartstrings, longing to be elaborated on. But for some reason I decided to go with this quote:

“Nothing in nature lives for itself. 

Rivers don’t drink their own water.

Trees don’t eat their own fruit.

The sun doesn’t shine for itself.

A flower’s fragrance is not for itself.

Living for each other is the rule of nature.”

It is often the ambition of people to satisfy their own wants & needs. This is, as many things, inherent human nature. But, what gratification truly comes from this? Sure, it is easy to be selfish, & we know ourselves better than anyone else, so we know how to get what we want. But, how long does this feeling last? Sometimes we focus so much on getting what we want we waste precious time that could be better spent focused on others. How simple is it to listen to someone, to ask how their day is going, or to simply spread a smile. I have talked many times about how contagious a smile can be. I truly believe this to be a fact. Bringing joy to someone else will only bounce off them & reflect back to you making you happy too. We believe we know what is best for us so we venture out to find it, not realizing how much energy is wasted trying to achieve ultimate perfection, by way of accomplishing goals, purchasing material goods, or seeking life’s highs. Again, as I have discussed before, we will never attain our idea of perfection. Once we achieve or posses one thing we wanted, we will immediately seek more. It is a never ending, vicious cycle. Live selflessly & you will find more peace than when you work only to gratify yourself. 

As Mufasa once said, “we are all connected in the great circle of life.” Everyone has something to contribute. There are farmers who provide the food, seamstresses & tailors who clothe us, performers who entertain us, government officials who work to organize chaos, military members who strive to protect us & our freedoms, construction workers who provide us shelter, & the list goes on. Each person has a role & when we accept that & become grateful for our differences, we learn to respect one another. You too have a gift, & someone somewhere is in need of what you provide. So do not hoard what you have to offer, share it with the world. The planet, the humans, animals, environment. You couldn’t survive without the sacrifice of someone else, so give back in any way you can & you will be granted a place in which you thrive. It is easier to be satisfied when we are putting out what we already have rather than trying to force ourselves to gain power, which is not rightly ours. Be who you are & let that be enough. Your presence is needed, is desired, & will not go unnoticed. Do not fear missing out or feeling under appreciated. Know that you are all this world needs to go round. 

I will sum all this up with a repost of a poem I wrote about how contagious positivity is. “Positivity is a virus… Be positive, spread your light.” It is as simple as that. Your smile may be for someone else in the moment, but they will pass it on & it will continue to go around until it eventually returns to you. Live for others & so they shall live for you. We all need each other. ❤

“Positivity is a virus

You can easily transmit

It’s highly contagious

Don’t fear spreading it

You infect one life

& so they affect others

Thus a ripple begins

Which this world, it smothers

Waves traveling forward

Across oceans, across land

From one soul to the next

’Til together we all stand

Sick with this virus

Mutated into those

Who love one another

Whose hearts have been transposed

Each frozen thought thawed

Every mind opened wide

So that we can all see

The beauty held inside

There will be no more heartache

No tears shed from wet eyes

No pain, only joy

Sunshine & butterflies

Smiles on every face

Arms open wide

Diversity embraced

Conflicts set aside

Who knows how far

Your ripple will go?

The world is a sphere

So in circles it flows

Disease is the answer

Like zombies we unite

Don’t cower in the darkness

Be positive, spread your light” ~Kimily Trehern

You’re Just in Your Cocoon

I once read a quote about the importance of knowing the difference in pace & place. I’ve also come across a few quotes about butterflies in my day. I’d like to make a comparison using these concepts. As always, I would like to remind you to remember that life is a journey. You are never going to live in the same moment or place forever, at least not until you die. Therefore, the place you are at is irrelevant. But, I have decided so is the pace at which you travel. You see, as the analogy goes, the caterpillar does not know he is about to become a beautiful butterfly. He knows no end after the cocoon, for all he knows it is death. The realization of what he will become is lost on him as he is transforming. 

So have no fear if you are still in your cocoon so to speak. You are still transforming. You are constantly learning, growing & changing whether you realize it or not. Think about it, when you see someone daily, you do not notice how they change as drastically as you would if you went a decade without seeing them & they have suddenly lost or gained 50 pounds, gotten gray hair, grown a beard, cut their hair, etc. So you may not see the changes in yourself. For after all, you live with yourself 24/7.

Everyone is in a different place in life. Some are still caterpillars on the ground, others are tucked away tightly in their cocoons, & yet there are those who have already become beautiful butterflies. Chances are, you won’t know where on your journey you are. So stop comparing yourself with others! Live your own life. & do not worry about the pace at which you are transforming. Everyones’ path is different, & people will spend different amounts of time in each stage of life. Do not stress over where you are at. If you aren’t where you want to be, be patient & continue to strive for improvement. Eventually you will emerge from your cocoon. Just keep in mind that even though you aren’t aware of the changes you are undergoing, they are occurring. There is a plan in place & constantly at work. No stage is unimportant & you are simply preparing for who you are to become. Also know that the struggle to be freed of the cocoon is going to be tough. This is also vital. A butterfly must work hard to break out of its cocoon, as this strengthens its wings. Without this effort the butterfly will be too weak to fly. So do not fear the struggle. Embrace it knowing that it is only making your wings stronger to soar away with in the future. Trust your path. Trust the time the road to maturity requires. 

Do not stress over where you are on your journey, or your “place.” & do not rush the “pace.” Growing takes time & preparation. Do not look at the butterflies in the sky & cry for not being able to fly. Do not look at the caterpillars on the ground & frown that they are dragging everyone down. Everyone, just like you, is growing & changing at their own speed, in their own way, from their own trials & tribulations. All of this is necessary to maintain balance. Trust the cycle. ❤

Meet Halfway

I’ve recently been involved in several conversations with people regarding their relationships. Now, I will be the first to admit that this is a subject on which I am not entitled to give advice, having been single for basically the entire 28 years of my life. However, I do have one opinion on the topic which I feel is valuable. It is related to an issue that seems to be a common problem for many relationships. I feel that it is important for each person to contribute equally to the relationship & in a positive manner.

While I have spent a lot of time discussing this with a couple of my friends recently, I used one analogy I found particularly useful. Life is a game, & your partner is comparable to your coach. We tend to perform at our best when we have a solid support system. If you are with someone who is constantly putting you down, placing blame on you, pointing out all your flaws or mistakes, or treating you like you are inferior it is only going to create a toxic relationship.

It is important to first understand that no one is perfect! You must learn to accept your own flaws & use your mistakes to learn from rather than punish yourself over. You will make yourself miserable if you spend all your time overanalyzing everything you have done wrong or could have done better. When you decide to be with someone, you are also choosing to accept the same in them. That being said, a good relationship is one in which both parties bring the best out in each other. A good coach can help you evaluate what mistakes you made & suggest methods of improvement. More importantly, a good coach encourages you to try again. A bad coach yells in your face. Rarely do we excel when someone makes us feel like a lousy piece of shit, rather that makes us want to give up & quit. It is through positive motivation, just like water & sunlight, that makes us grow.

So find someone who encourages you & lifts you up; someone who doesn’t throw negativity in your face or judge you constantly. Strive to provide the same for your partner. Support each other, don’t try to tear each other down. Motivate one another. Try to avoid anger in disagreements by communicating thoroughly & helping each other understand your frustrations. Don’t make one person make all the effort, always forgive, always take the blame, always feel miserable… Meet halfway. You will get out what you put in & you will only create hostility if all you put out is negative. ❤