Hardened Hearts & LOVE

A few days ago my friend posted a quote that touched a nerve & inspired me to write. I’m posting the quote below, along with what I wrote later that evening. I wasn’t sure I was ready to post it on my blog, but I have since changed my mind. 🙂 Feel free to share your thoughts. ❤

“Strength is not staring into the face of love with a hardened heart, it is staring into the face of hardened hearts with love.”

Not all hearts are hard

They’re just afraid of love

But those hearts that are hard

Can be restored with love

 

Love is a powerful thing

It can heal or it can wound

It depends how it’s presented

If it hurts or if it soothes

 

Hearts are malleable objects

They’re molded by circumstance

They take the shape of the space between

Each loving blow & painful lance

 

Warm moments leave bubbles

Where the heart swells wide with joy

Cold hours leave deep craters

That sink in from tissue destroyed

 

Where a soft heart has been injured

It is not filled with any air

This makes it difficult to breathe

It’s rigid it is impaired

 

When love is applied to a hardened heart

It heats & smooths the shell

It allows the air to rise within

& restore the outward bell

 

A heart, which has loved

& then been torn apart

Will look upon this subject

& feel afraid to start

 

Yet, when we look with love

At those hearts turned into stone

We can melt & shape them over

’Til they know they’re not alone

 

So look upon each heart

Shining love on every side

& do not fear to enter love

With your own heart open wide

Honor Yourself

For those who work a typical Monday-Friday job, you are likely finishing up your first day of the business week. I hope it went well! But, if not, don’t stress. There is always tomorrow. You don’t have to wait for next week, next month, or even the new year to get a fresh start. Make that change now! Don’t waste time dwelling on what has already occurred. The past cannot be changed no matter how hard you try. So get up, brush it off, go for a walk, get your blood pumping & clear your mind. Focus on where to go from here. What is your next move? 

I once heard that judgement is an unnecessary evil, & you don’t need to blame yourself. Just focus your energy into something positive, into your goals. Take an inventory of your body,  how things feel, your hurts & pains. But know that what you observe is neither right nor wrong. Be kind to yourself, as you would be to a child. This kindness is important. Respect yourself & your body, & know that thoughts & sensations, even of pain, aren’t permanent. Acknowledge anything felt in your body or mind & choose to honor yourself in its presence. Perhaps you find an area of muscle tension, give it a gentle massage. You may find sadness, accept that it is okay to not be okay. Perfection is merely an relative term to describe a state of being that will forever remain out of reach to each individual due to it’s imaginary construct in the mind of said individual. In other words, the definition of “perfection” varies person to person, & by reaching one person’s idea of perfection does not bring satisfaction knowing that in your own mind there are still things you lack to be considered perfect in your own eyes. Thus, true perfection is eternally unattainable. Keeping this in mind, accept who you are, make peace with your flaws. Perhaps you had a spectacular day! Keep fueling that fire of positivity with gratitude. Be grateful you had a satisfactory day, because not every day is going to feel so. Take a moment to enjoy where you are at, & reflect on what factors contributed to today being so great. Try to hold on to those concepts & continue to implement them whenever possible to increase the chances of repetitive success. 

Wherever you fall on the spectrum today, know that it is not forever. Time is fleeting. I wish everyone had a great day every day, but such is not life. Life, as we all know, is a rollercoaster. You just have to learn to appreciate the dips & sharp turns as much as the rest of the ride, for all together the ride is life. ❤

Learning to Let Go

Letting go is becoming all I know. I am learning to surrender to circumstances I cannot control. I have often told others to let go of things they can’t control. Tell them not to let it affect them, just shake it off or ignore it, it will only add stress to your life. Yet, this is a practice that I have struggled to put into place for myself. 

For years I have let guilt, shame, & fear rule my life. I cared so much about how I was viewed by others. I constantly degraded myself for not pleasing everyone, not realizing how many people actually did appreciate me. I was too concerned with those who didn’t care for me that I took for granted people who were grateful to have me in their life. The ugly truth of the matter is that you will never successfully satisfy everyone you come into contact with. It’s impossible. Think about it. If Jesus couldn’t do it, neither will you be able to. Hate to burst your bubble. #SorryNotSorry This realization was highly enlightening & freeing for me. I began to feel lighter. The burden of others’ negative opinions was no longer a gorilla sitting on my chest. I started to notice more positive things about myself & wonder why I wasted so much time trying to impress people who deserve to posses no portion of my attention. 

Time was my worst enemy. I judged myself & based my level of “success” on what I had or had not accomplished up to this point in my life. I hated the fact that I am 28 years old & still haven’t found a spouse or even someone to be in a relationship with. I was angry for having still not posted my poetry, most of which has never been read, in some form of book. I couldn’t stand the fact that I found myself back in school & have yet to start my career. I felt my  body clock ticking on having a child, especially given I only have one ovary. Just to be clear, I believe finding a husband comes before having a child, & thus I felt even more pressure in that area of my life. I felt myself aging, using my schedule & exhaustion as an excuse to refrain from exercise, but the reality is that I had such low self esteem that I wasn’t motivated to take care of my body because I didn’t believe it deserved to be treated or look any better than my mental state. 

I was recently reminded how important it is to take care of yourself. To set goals, break them down, & work towards them. Set target dates to accomplish these mile markers & reward yourself when you reach your ultimate milestone. My buddy recommended a book for me to read & a specific journal to help me break down my goals & work on increasing gratitude in my life. I will admit, I have not committed as much time as I should have to these materials, or at least not as much as I would have liked to. & I am certainly still figuring out how to utilize them. Yet, even this slight inspiration has made a world of difference in my life thus far. Three weeks ago I was in a very dark place! & I had been in that place for a few months. I thought I hid it well, but of course my mother saw right through it all. In fact, she is the main reason I noticed how much better I am feeling these days. She pointed out last week what a change she has seen in me, my whole demeanor. She used the term “fighter” to describe me & that gave me a new sense of power. I realized for the first time that I am making positive strides. I am cutting negative ties, setting goals, & working towards the future I want for myself. It is an immensely good feeling to realize that you genuinely ceased to care about the opinion of others who have belittled you & suffocated you for so long, when they are going nowhere themselves. 

I had once heard someone say that it is easier for someone to pull you down from a chair than you to pull them up onto it. It finally clicked with me that I had been letting others pull me down for so long. I am no longer letting that happen. I may not be able to pull them up to my level with me, but I am certainly not looking down anymore. I am vowing to only heed the wisdom of those more driven than myself. I’m not waiting for the new year to start my resolution. I can’t change the past & I won’t worry about the future. I will trust God’s timing, knowing that it is perfect & it is absolute. It is not relative to what I want, but I have to make moves to make it happen. You can’t expect things to happen if all you do is sit & wait. 

PSA: Check out the book my pal recommended for me (link below)

“Own the day, Own Your Life” ~Aubrey Marcus ❤

Being YOUR best SELF

“Be your best self” is a phrase I heard as a child through the Junior Miss organization. It took me a while to grasp the meaning of this phrase. Over time I have come to utilize this or variations of the phrase myself. I believe that the ultimate point here is exactly what it says, to be the best version of yourself that you can, no matter who that may be.

Who you are isn’t what you look like, how you dress, where you work, the kind of car you drive, your sexual preference, your religion, your race, your age, your gender, your weight, or any other such factor. Who you are is the person you choose to be. You are your heart. Is that heart frozen & two sizes too small? Or is that heart so warm & full of love it is bounding inside your chest, just dying to get out? 

Others do not get to decide who you are, that is a decision only you can make. Judgement plays no role in your makeup. When we let the fear of others control us we lose sight, at least temporarily, of our true selves. Seek not the approval of others, simply be the best human you can be & go to sleep satisfied, knowing you put forth your best effort to be the kindest, most genuine person you could. So in order to keep this message concise & sweet. I will end by saying go out into the world, my lovelies, & “be YOUR best SELF!” ❤

Fears vs Dreams

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Both my fears & my dreams keep me alive

I’m curious ‘bout the outcome so I fight to survive

 

My nerves are crippling

As I fear I will fail

So I choose to feel nothing

Stuff my goals behind a veil

 

But choosing not to feel

Means failing to live

So I relinquish my pride

& I beg life to give

 

The will to sacrifice is a growing desire

As grasping for my dreams kindles my fire

 

Ultimatums were made & now I must decide

If I will choose the path that puts him at my side

 

Another candle placed on the cake

A year comprised of many mistakes

 

Perhaps 28 holds improvement in store

Before I’ve seen the sun from every angle once more

Happy Monday

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It is often a challenge to encourage others. Even the most positive people have bad days. We are all human, no one is immune to this phenomenon. When you’re feeling down it can be hard to think about putting others first. But remember how important it is. Making someone else smile may just be what you need. When you see others in a good mood it can put you in a good mood. & your good mood may just be what the other person needs to be happy. It’s a never ending circle. What you put out is what you will receive. So put out joy & it shall return to you. Have a great day, make it count! Get out & grind this week! Make things happen! As always, you control your happiness. 💙

A Family of Strangers

A family of strangers

is a gathering of friends

Who met once upon a time

& remained bonded ’til the end

 

From each far reaching corner

of this spherical Earth

Accumulating like magnets

to bask in each others worth

 

Swimming across oceans

Climbing mountain peaks

Crossing legal borders

To love endlessly

 

Bonding over campfires

Listening to tunes

Even playing with light-up balloons

 

Sharing our souls

Good vibes spread throughout

Selflessness offered up

Joyous praises we shout

 

Developing crushes

We seek only to hide

Because fear of rejection

Is detrimental to our pride

 

We’re incapable of accepting

the love that we deserve

Because too many times

we’ve been kicked to the curb 

 

We show affection

to those who aren’t us

Yet we wonder how

their love we can trust

 

If we can’t love ourselves

How can others return

They can’t reciprocate

What we continue to burn

 

Feelings cause pain

when you don’t believe

That love is there

for you to receive 

 

You circle back to homies

Your sisters & brothers

To forget about emotions

& not let them smother