Novel #1

Ten years ago I developed a major crush on a guy while working at a ski resort as holiday help. I have always been a writer of poetry as well as a journalist. So naturally when I returned to school, I took to my new computer to start jotting down some of my feelings. When I realized how much quicker I was typing the words than when I had used to journal by pen in a notebook it was intriguing.

I have also always been a very vivid dreamer, waking up most mornings remembering a dream or two. In the few days following my return home I had powerful dreams that inspired me to keep writing. I decided to use my infatuation for this romance, which by the way never never blossomed into a relationship, to fuel a fictional story about a girl who fell for a boy in the mountains.

I begin to define the relationship of a young couple who met at a ski resort & created them some friends. It was quite simple at the time it seemed. I was motivated by my dreams & the idea of the cute guy still looming in my mind. The the writing, as usual for me, seemed to flow. So I wrote several pages before my passion for the story dwindled.

After I graduated college, I moved to Los Angeles for two years & writing no longer seemed important. I was more focused on trying to kick off my career as an actress. I gave up only shortly after being accepted into & joining SAG-AFTRA (the acting union). However, during my time in LA I was fascinated by yet another young man, a foreign athlete who was only in LA for a short period of six months. This time I focused more on real life than the made up world of a book. For the time being at least…

In 2014 I relocated once more to New Orleans. I had not thought about my book in a long time until my apartment flooded & my laptop was destroyed (PSA: never leave your laptop sitting on the floor). I sent it to a company to have the data retrieved. They were somewhat successful, however, the work I had done on the book was lost. It was heartbreaking! It was one of those situations where you don’t realize how much something means to you until it is out of your reach. I was disheartened & had absolutely zero interest in returning to my book.

Over time I made a few more moves. Each time I would come across notebooks with my writing or poetry in them & I would get enticed to sit down & read. I came across a lot of writing about men I had been attracted to over the years & I realized what a hopeless romantic I am. I also came to accept over time, that I am not destined for a relationship of my own. Yet, I still love the idea of love. I love reading about love, watching movies about love, dreaming about love & I have now discovered that I enjoy writing about love. So I began to write again.

It was a struggle at first. I honestly did not want to start over after losing all of my previous work. So I simply jotted down some thoughts I had about the characters I once created. One day, I don’t remember exactly when, I sat down & wrote a quick scene. It was a single page or two of the main characters meeting. I left it at that & did not write again for quite some time.

Over the course of the past TWO years, I have slowly chipped away at what I now call my “Snowboard Novel Draft.” I have a full time job & I certainly don’t commit myself to writing as I should. I don’t write regularly, but when I sit down to write, somewhere between one to two thousand words ends up coming out. I rarely write small sections at a time. I did write out of order & I would skip all around. Only here recently did things finally take shape & I began to feel a sense of accomplishment.

On April 19th 2021 I printed my ROUGH First Draft of my “Snowboard Novel Draft.” It stands at 86 standard, letter size pages, font size 11 or 55,627 words. This was in my eyes, my first real milestone on this project. I sent it to three people who I know & trust for their input & feedback before going back to add more. As things progress, I plan to keep you informed! But in the meantime, if you would like updates, please contact me to be added to my email list & follow me on Facebook at my Kimily24 page & Instagram at @KimilyTrehern 🙂 ❤

I’m on WATTPAD

I have created a WATTPAD account where I will be posting most of my future material (along with here on my blog). Please feel free to follow along! I made my poetry book available via Wattpad (for FREE). Please check it out, vote & share! My account is KimilyET24 Thank you ❤

https://embed.wattpad.com/story/219505268

 

WHAT HOLDS ME BACK?

LIVING IN FEAR

I put up a brave façade, but on the inside I’m a coward. I am confident in many things, but not those that matter most. My confidence centers primarily on superficial matters.

I am, & have always been, comfortable with my appearance. I joke that I am “100% genuine, all original parts,” & for the most part that is true. I can admit I am a high maintenance girl. I love to put on makeup & dress up to go out. Yet, I am comfortable enough with my natural self that I walk around daily with my hair in a bun, no makeup on, rocking a t-shirt. Point being, I have no issue with my appearance & I have never contemplated plastic surgery or otherwise redesigning my body. I do love to decorate it though with tattoos & piercings, however, I do not consider this a true body transformation.

I am also brave when it comes to activities I do for fun. I am borderline daredevil material. I have tried everything from skydiving to scuba diving, riding every rollercoaster I encounter, traveling abroad alone, riding horses, & so on. I crave adrenaline rushes! I am all about trying new & exciting things.

This is all fine & great, but there is still something holding me back. Based on the previous information, most wouldn’t peg me as a scaredy cat, but that is exactly what I am; a person who lives in fear.

I am afraid I will fail in my future endeavors. I have toyed with copious ideas over the years regarding what career path I should choose for my life & I never seem to find peace. Everything I consider feels like a cop out for not writing. I have dreamed of making a living off my writing for years. Working on my own schedule from my computer in whatever remote location I so desire. Yet, I have always been terrified of putting myself out there. With many jobs the focus is not centered on you, it is about the work you do. Doctors get praise for saving lives, construction workers for building things, architects for designing, secretaries for assisting, etc. Most careers exist to make people’s lives easier in some way shape or form. They provide some service or produce a tangible object of some sort. Writing isn’t like that.

Writing differs from a typical job because it is an art form. Any artist, regardless if they are in the performing arts, studio artistry, or creative writing, understands what it means to put themselves out there & be exposed to high volumes of criticism. Whether you have 5 followers, 5 thousand, or 5 million, your fans & haters are watching what you do. Sure there are people who will love what you do & be supportive, but “haters gone hate.” No matter how many fans you gain, there will always be people that try to tear you down. The fact of the matter is it’s easier to pull someone off a table than it is to pull someone up on it. Especially if the foundation of that table is unsteady. I am the person standing on the table & my ego is the shaky foundation. It is already extremely fragile & unstable. The simplest remark can topple me off that table. People say, “You shouldn’t care; other people’s opinions shouldn’t matter to you,” & while that may be true, to be honest those words aren’t very realistic to me. No matter how hard I try to release my insecurities, I can’t. I’m scared to put my writing out there because I feel like people’s opinion of my writing is a direct judgement on me as a person. Particularly since the vast majority of my writing is extremely personal. I know this fear is irrational to many people, but it is crippling to me. Everyone is tortured by the fear of something & this is what affects me most. This & clowns, which are the demons that crawled out of the drain holes to hell.

So what are your thoughts? Share with me your fears & how you deal with them. I am open to advice, so shoot me a comment or email (visit my contact page) with your suggestions on how to let go of this terror that is strangling me, preventing me from pursuing my dreams. Share your recommendations on this subject & let’s help eachother out!

PS I hope to gain the courage to start posting some of my better, albeit more personal writing to my site soon so stay vigilant! 🙂

The Heart-BEAT

I am in the process of starting a 501c3 nonprofit organization for hopeful musicians. My goal is to assist in the acquisition of instruments, equipment, software, etc. required to produce/perform; as well as raise money to help these musicians fund their music lessons & even scholarships to music programs. I would ideally like to target small town or low-income musicians. I am passionate about the art of music & it’s influence globally & I want to help spread that worldwide! Check out the link below to my latest page for updates on the organization & see what we’re up to! 🙂 ❤

The Heart-BEAT ❤

For my Niece/Nephew

As I stare into your eyes
Before they have decided what color to be
You’re tiny & innocent
While you’re gazing up at me

I cannot wait
To watch you grow
So as time passes
I’ll beg it to slow

Before words you speak
I’ll kiss you on the cheek
Your tiny hand holding mine
The feeling is so divine

I love you now
I’ll hold you forever
You’ll wonder how
I’ll let go of you never

You can’t hold up your head
All you do is lay in bed
Counting sheep is not a thing
But you sure love toys that sing

Your room is full of giraffes
Unawares, you do arts & crafts
Fingers & toes covered in paint
To make gifts for us to claim

You’ll never grow old
You’ll always be younger than me
So you will always be told
How much you mean to me

Your skin like crushed velvet
Your hair fine peach fuzz
& when you need something
You make a big fuss

Swaddled in cashmere
With a cap to keep you warm
When you cry like a kitten
All the adults start to swarm

Live life to it’s fullest
Don’t die old & boring
Be the best you can be
Like an Eagle keep soaring

One boy & one girl
One silver, one gold
Take care of each other
Don’t try to fit the mould

Be kind, openhearted
Don’t judge like the rest
Befriend everyone
& put love to the test

Be patient, be caring
Be strong, & be good
Be obedient & sharing
Like you wish others would

Kisses & cuddles
& hugs everyday
No matter from where
Love always, ~AK

Playing with Perspective :)

So yesterday I decided to try something different that I haven’t done in years. I wrote from a friend’s Point of View. I took what I know about his situation & put his thoughts into my own words. He shall remain anonymous, but here is the result:

 

4.5 years down the drain

Was it wasted or was it just insane?

People can pry, but they’ll never know why

It was my own decision to fly

 

We met at night

Lived in the dark, not the light

But we grew apart

& now I get a fresh start

 

I may not know how

But I’ll find my own way

& I’m not gonna listen

To what others have to say

 

It’s not their job

To decide my fate

I’m a grown man

& that’s something I hate

 

I make my own tracks

& I spin ’em in the club

I drop hints for the girl

That I low key love

 

Smoke ’til no one

Can see my green eyes

So when she saw them

She was so surprised

 

Stay up every night

To watch the sun rise

& socialize with strangers

I don’t even recognize

Memaw

I gave my mother a copy of the adoption poem I wrote & my Memaw asked for one as well. But, I decided to write her something more personal instead 🙂

Memaws are smart

Memaws are kind

Memaws are fun

I’m so glad I have mine

 

Memaws make vegetable soup

They fill it with okra

They relax at home

& watch shows like Oprah

 

Memaws make homemade fudge

& mix pecans in half

But they leave half plain

Because I don’t like that riffraff

 

They take care of puppies,

Bunnies & doves alike

They help raise baby animals

And ride skinny wheeled bikes

 

Memaws keep secrets

They keep mothers in line

They take lemons in their water

They grow citrus, but not limes

 

Memaws go with Papaws

Who pretends he’s Moss Back

He scares kids in the pool

When the sky outside is black

 

Memaws are moms extended

They make kids follow rules

But, they feed us cookie dough

& that is pretty splendid

 

Memaws lay on rafts

So they don’t get their hair wet

But kids flip them over

& they get a whoopin’ threat

 

Memaws don’t judge so much

They often take your side

But sometimes they disagree

& they do so with pride

 

Memaws are loving creatures

They go slow & take their time

They love coffee & naptime

& are teaching all the time

World Adoption Day 11-15-16

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Happy #WorldAdoptionDay to anyone who has been blessed by this beautiful gift 😇 #WetHairDontCareClub

World Adoption Day 11-15-16
Adoption brought me family
Without it I’d be alone
Adoption brought me a sister
& together we have grown

It gave me someone to fight with
It gave me someone to love
It gave me someone to confide in
Though she doesn’t always keep her mouth shut

As a child I let her dress me
She’s always had great style
But many times she’d test me
& I’d stay mad a while

She taught me many things
Like how to tell designer from a fake
Yet in many ways we’re different
For example, she does not like cake

We got our puppies together
One Christmas in New York
Another way we’re different
Is I do not eat pork

Adoption made us siblings
Though we are not blood
But we learned to love each other
Until one day we became buds

We lost our home in Katrina
& that brought us close again
Our parents made us sisters
But our love made us friends

She loves to shop indoors
While I love to play outside
As children we fought over chores
As adults we travel worldwide

We’ve travelled the world together
From Costa Rica to Europe
Canada to the Caribbean
& she always did my makeup

The day that she got married
I stood right by her side
I helped her to get ready
She made a beautiful bride

Adoption is a blessing
It is a gift from God
A miracle from up above
& one we should applaud

Laugh

So I wanted to spotlight one of my object writings from a couple weeks ago. I feel like it was somewhat overshadowed the first time I posted it as it was at the end of a long post. I was given 10min to write about “Laugh” & this is what I came up with it. I quite enjoyed this one & I hope you will too!

Contagious. Happy, a smile on everyone’s face. A frown turned upside down. A fantastic ab workout. Laughter makes the world go round. Like music, it is a universal language. Even more so, because every country laughs the same. People, however, don’t. Each laugh as unique as the individual itself. No two alike, even twins it sets apart. Laughter heals the soul. It stitches it back together again. It mends emotional wounds. Laughing a jokes till you roll on the ground in tears. Intimate moments you share with one glance at your best friend. Forced chuckles at you’re bosses lame comments to stay in his good graces. Laughing is healthy! It produces endorphins. The opposite of strife. Bringing people together. Unifying through a common interest. Laughing can be mean though. Laughing at a persons’ insecurities, weakness, or failures will never be okay! Laugh with, not at. Laughing tastes like sunshine & rainbows. It smells of burning leaves, fresh baked cookies. It sounds like a rainstorm with thunder and lightening. Even dogs laugh with their tails. Laughing is for all ages, it keeps you young! It tenses up then relaxes the muscles. Laugh til you cry, until the day that you die. It pays to be happy. You are more content when you can learn to laugh at yourself.

7/30 Social Media

We are all under scrutiny
there’s no place to hide
Social media is the culprit
it reeks of hatred worldwide

People like to try to judge
They will hold a grudge
Into lives they spy and pry
with an eagle eye
You shouldn’t have to be blind to be kind
or to look upon each face with grace
What is up with controversy
can’t we show each other mercy

The key to tolerance
is to fight ignorance
The key to humanity
is international amity