women

6/16/19 The Love We Deserve

As I listened to a sermon today on the importance of Christ-like relationships I became excited, while also frustrated. The sermon was about the importance of wives submitting to their husbands, whom are in turn intended to love their wives as Christ loved the church. As usual, religion aside this sermon held a lot of great advice for couples.

The lesson was that women are called to submit in a such a way that they are not presenting barriers to their husbands to lead the household in a Godly manner. They should love their husbands in a way that makes the husband want to be better for them. Husbands in return are meant to love their wives as Christ loved the church. With “sacrificial, purifying, caring, & unbreakable love.” I won’t dive into the breakdown of those, just know that men have a very important, yet extremely difficult task of honoring their wives & leading them in the right direction. Husbands were not intended to take advantage of the wife’s submission, rather use it as inspiration to treat her with this incredible love. 

As the message went on single women were called to be patient. Not to submit to just any man who walked into their lives, but rather to wait for the one who would earn their submission & would treat them with the respect they deserve in return. This sounded so empowering! Women have the right to choose. If we all actually did this, held out for this kind of loving connection, how different our relationships would be. 

With this power in mind I began to question, why is it this sounds so enticing, but I have such a difficult time being patient? The answer is simple, & a quote from The Perks of Being a Wallflower, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Until we learn to love ourselves enough to truly believe we deserve to be treated right, we will not be willing to wait patiently. It will be a constant battle to avoid or cut-off those who misuse & abuse us. Therefore, self-love is once again the focus of a stable relationship foundation. Until you can learn to love yourself, you cannot expect someone to love you in a way that you can not. Until you can love yourself, you can not submit yourself to that person properly. As we fill our own cup with self-love, we have more to offer others. 

Women are called to submit, which requires a high level of trust. That trust cannot be offered up to just anyone. Save it for someone who will do right by you, someone who appreciates all that you offer & wants to honor your submission. Men, be trustworthy. Earn your woman’s submission by treating her with respect & leading your household in an honorable manner. ❤

Playing with Perspective :)

So yesterday I decided to try something different that I haven’t done in years. I wrote from a friend’s Point of View. I took what I know about his situation & put his thoughts into my own words. He shall remain anonymous, but here is the result:

 

4.5 years down the drain

Was it wasted or was it just insane?

People can pry, but they’ll never know why

It was my own decision to fly

 

We met at night

Lived in the dark, not the light

But we grew apart

& now I get a fresh start

 

I may not know how

But I’ll find my own way

& I’m not gonna listen

To what others have to say

 

It’s not their job

To decide my fate

I’m a grown man

& that’s something I hate

 

I make my own tracks

& I spin ’em in the club

I drop hints for the girl

That I low key love

 

Smoke ’til no one

Can see my green eyes

So when she saw them

She was so surprised

 

Stay up every night

To watch the sun rise

& socialize with strangers

I don’t even recognize

Memaw

I gave my mother a copy of the adoption poem I wrote & my Memaw asked for one as well. But, I decided to write her something more personal instead 🙂

Memaws are smart

Memaws are kind

Memaws are fun

I’m so glad I have mine

 

Memaws make vegetable soup

They fill it with okra

They relax at home

& watch shows like Oprah

 

Memaws make homemade fudge

& mix pecans in half

But they leave half plain

Because I don’t like that riffraff

 

They take care of puppies,

Bunnies & doves alike

They help raise baby animals

And ride skinny wheeled bikes

 

Memaws keep secrets

They keep mothers in line

They take lemons in their water

They grow citrus, but not limes

 

Memaws go with Papaws

Who pretends he’s Moss Back

He scares kids in the pool

When the sky outside is black

 

Memaws are moms extended

They make kids follow rules

But, they feed us cookie dough

& that is pretty splendid

 

Memaws lay on rafts

So they don’t get their hair wet

But kids flip them over

& they get a whoopin’ threat

 

Memaws don’t judge so much

They often take your side

But sometimes they disagree

& they do so with pride

 

Memaws are loving creatures

They go slow & take their time

They love coffee & naptime

& are teaching all the time

Women are a prize to be cherished

This is my final post of the day & like the others it is going to be short & sweet! I just want to share something that has really been on my heart lately. & that is that ALL ladies (& men for that matter) have value & deserve to be loved and respected. I realize that some people aren’t as good at showing affection as others, but ladies, if a man isn’t making you feel loved & wanted & even needed, he may not be the man for you. A man who loves you & cherishes you will be so proud of you, he is happy to brag about you or show you off to all of his friends. Again, even if he isn’t super open about it, you can tell when a man is proud. You should NEVER feel like your man is trying to keep you a secret. If he is you either need to confront him about it, move on, or both. It is not okay to feel unappreciated & swept under the rug. Again, this goes both ways, both men & women should make their partner feel loved, but I am just speaking from a girls point of view here. If you are with someone who doesn’t treat you like the sun shines out of your ass so to speak, I personally would take a step back & examine that relationship. Because I can guarantee you that if the person you are with doesn’t think you are the greatest thing that ever happened to them, there is someone out there who does! & I genuinely believe that. DO NOT SETTLE FOR ANYBODY!!!!!!!!