So yesterday I decided to try something different that I haven’t done in years. I wrote from a friend’s Point of View. I took what I know about his situation & put his thoughts into my own words. He shall remain anonymous, but here is the result:
4.5 years down the drain
Was it wasted or was it just insane?
People can pry, but they’ll never know why
It was my own decision to fly
We met at night
Lived in the dark, not the light
But we grew apart
& now I get a fresh start
I may not know how
But I’ll find my own way
& I’m not gonna listen
To what others have to say
It’s not their job
To decide my fate
I’m a grown man
& that’s something I hate
I make my own tracks
& I spin ’em in the club
I drop hints for the girl
That I low key love
Smoke ’til no one
Can see my green eyes
So when she saw them
She was so surprised
Stay up every night
To watch the sun rise
& socialize with strangers
I don’t even recognize
You look so beautiful sleeping there, as I run my fingers through your thick curly hair.
Your deep rhythmic breathing, while you’re lying there dreaming.
Now my favorite blanket smells like you, & nothing has ever smelled sweeter, that is true.
My head upon your chest is the only place I find rest.
Buried in your arms, I’m free from all harm.
The way you kiss & hug me, makes me feel like you love me.
With our legs intertwined, not a thought crosses my mind, except for how much I love you.
I never felt safer than when I was with you, but then you pushed me away & I realized it wasn’t true.
This is my final post of the day & like the others it is going to be short & sweet! I just want to share something that has really been on my heart lately. & that is that ALL ladies (& men for that matter) have value & deserve to be loved and respected. I realize that some people aren’t as good at showing affection as others, but ladies, if a man isn’t making you feel loved & wanted & even needed, he may not be the man for you. A man who loves you & cherishes you will be so proud of you, he is happy to brag about you or show you off to all of his friends. Again, even if he isn’t super open about it, you can tell when a man is proud. You should NEVER feel like your man is trying to keep you a secret. If he is you either need to confront him about it, move on, or both. It is not okay to feel unappreciated & swept under the rug. Again, this goes both ways, both men & women should make their partner feel loved, but I am just speaking from a girls point of view here. If you are with someone who doesn’t treat you like the sun shines out of your ass so to speak, I personally would take a step back & examine that relationship. Because I can guarantee you that if the person you are with doesn’t think you are the greatest thing that ever happened to them, there is someone out there who does! & I genuinely believe that. DO NOT SETTLE FOR ANYBODY!!!!!!!!
I never knew how happy I could be
until you changed my life & decided to date me
There was a time when I honestly didn’t believe I could ever be with someone for so long
but you proved me wrong so I guess now I’ll write you this song (not really a song it just rhymed)
Most people believe depression is the absence of happiness, but for me with my disorder it was different. Happiness for me was the oh too seldom absence of the deepest, darkest cloud of depression. I did everything to try to escape that cloud and see the sunshine in the past, but now that I’m with you I don’t need to fill that hole & yet my happiness continues to last. You complete me, you fill all of the holes. You believe in me and you support all of my goals. I’ll never let go of all that you gave me, & that’s why I’m not ready to give us up for our different lifestyles you see. People come people go, some your friends others foe. Yet you remain in me forever, and if you leave I’ll forget you never. I needed you all those dark lonely years, to hold me and console me and protect me from my fears. I wish I knew how happy I could have been, because maybe I wouldn’t have made all the mistakes I did back then. I’m a new person now & that’s all because of you. You changed me for the better and that my friend is true. People come people go, some your friends others foe. Yet you remain in me forever, and when you’re gone I’ll forget you never. They say God forgives all and forgets everything, but I cannot yet forgive myself because for to thoughts of my past I do cling. I wish I could wipe my memory clean as my slate and understand that hell is not my fate. But I’m so absorbed with my past, all of the wrong and the bad; and I can’t move past the idea of the good life I could have had. I ruined all I touched like Midas, but not with gold. I burned every bridge I came to, and the fire multiplied ten fold. Oh how I wish I could have been bold rather than have a heart that was cold. Maybe then I would have had someone to hold, but instead I was alone and so I was never told, that to the devil my soul was not yet sold, and without this knowledge oh the tears how they rolled. I did not feel worthy. so dirty so ashamed. It hurt on the inside, so my body I maimed. I did not feel sadness nor love nor hate, all I knew was anger and that was my fate.