“Coffee & Keyboards”

So today my good friend Rachael Lee Clarkson (Stroud) released her new e-book entitled “Coffee & Keyboards.” I have already purchased it & fell instantly in love, as I do with all of her work. You can find more information about her book & how to purchase it on her blog here:

http://rachaelleestroud.wordpress.com

So chapter 2 is titled “Just Start Writing” & she challenges you to begin writing every single day. She listed a few ideas for themes to write about daily & I am choosing to write about number four today.

Rachael herself is a friend who has inspired me in many ways. She taught me what it was like to hang out & have fun with girls after years of having only male friends. She made having girlfriends fun! She did things like throw “Britney Spears” themed parties (although we turned out to look like the Spice Girls haha see photo below-Rachael is far left with her pup as Posh, & I’m far right as Sporty).

She set a great example for what it means to be a “God Chick.” She taught me what a healthy boyfriend/girlfriend relationship or courtship should look like. & now she is inspiring me to write. So we will see how this goes from here… In the mean time, check out her blog or one of her books or her website & let her inspire you!

12-21-11

I am so tired of living in a perfect world where no one can do anything wrong, but when they do then it’s okay, they are always right. I’m so confused. I don’t know what to believe. I just wish you could see the real me. The me you know is a lie. All you know is a fraction of a façade that is a minute fragment of my consciousness. I have some really dark shadows in the closet of my past. If I honestly & truly believed that you loved me unconditionally maybe I could tell you about a girl I know named Kimily. But your love is based merely on my perfection, & the way I appear or make you appear in society. I would never introduce you to Kimily because I know you don’t want to meet her. I just wish so much that I could tell you about her. You think you know me but you have no idea. You try to tell me who I am but that’s only the idea of me you have in your head that you expect me to be, so I make you believe. Like a child who believes in Santa. I am the adult & I put on the show, just so that you’ll never know. I’m so tired of hiding, tired of all the lies. I just want to show you what is real, I wish you’d just realize. Dance is my form of expression, snowboarding is my freedom. But now I’ve lost both. You have taken all there is of me. I’m just a dry dead corpse. I’m a marionette in your puppet show. You pull the strings & I play along. I am not living anymore. I am just a sack of dry bones stuffed in some skin, what the hell have you done to me, my kin? You told me you only wanted the best for me so why did you strip me so bare? Like our mascots I am an Eagle I should be free to soar, I am a rebel who can’t rebel anymore, I am a panther but you’ll never hear me roar. This is what you made me this is who you wanted me to become. Well you got your wish, I can’t even remember where I’m from. I wish someone would try to revive me. The kiss of life is all I need. Somebody shock my heart, make me able to bleed. Because right now I feel nothing, nothing runs through my veins. I’m just still & barren like the desert plains. I want to gain control, be the pilot of my life. But that sure can’t happen until i’m back alive. Someone wake me up from this coma I’ve been in. Right now I cure the dryness as I drown myself in gin. Shake me to life with a waft of mountain air, that’s the feeling I long for the most & nothing else can compare.

Old scribblings

So I have decided to start posting some of my OLD scribblings. I am hoping to start writing some more so perhaps I will have some newer stuff later, but in general it takes me years to share my writing with people because the things I am currently writing about are so personal it takes a while to get over them. Some of my best writing actually came out of my middle school & high school years, but unfortunately, due to multiple computer crashes since that time, I have lost most of my writing from my younger years. 😦

April 24, 2012 (monthiversary)

I never knew how happy I could be

until you changed my life & decided to date me

There was a time when I honestly didn’t believe I could ever be with someone for so long

but you proved me wrong so I guess now I’ll write you this song (not really a song it just rhymed)

Most people believe depression is the absence of happiness, but for me with my disorder it was different. Happiness for me was the oh too seldom absence of the deepest, darkest cloud of depression. I did everything to try to escape that cloud and see the sunshine in the past, but now that I’m with you I don’t need to fill that hole & yet my happiness continues to last. You complete me, you fill all of the holes. You believe in me and you support all of my goals. I’ll never let go of all that you gave me, & that’s why I’m not ready to give us up for our different lifestyles you see. People come people go, some your friends others foe. Yet you remain in me forever, and if you leave I’ll forget you never. I needed you all those dark lonely years, to hold me and console me and protect me from my fears. I wish I knew how happy I could have been, because maybe I wouldn’t have made all the mistakes I did back then. I’m a new person now & that’s all because of you. You changed me for the better and that my friend is true. People come people go, some your friends others foe. Yet you remain in me forever, and when you’re gone I’ll forget you never. They say God forgives all and forgets everything, but I cannot yet forgive myself because for to thoughts of my past I do cling. I wish I could wipe my memory clean as my slate and understand that hell is not my fate. But I’m so absorbed with my past, all of the wrong and the bad; and I can’t move past the idea of the good life I could have had. I ruined all I touched like Midas, but not with gold. I burned every bridge I came to, and the fire multiplied ten fold. Oh how I wish I could have been bold rather than have a heart that was cold. Maybe then I would have had someone to hold, but instead I was alone and so I was never told, that to the devil my soul was not yet sold, and without this knowledge oh the tears how they rolled. I did not feel worthy. so dirty so ashamed. It hurt on the inside, so my body I maimed. I did not feel sadness nor love nor hate, all I knew was anger and that was my fate.

Ms Louisiana American Coed 2014

Sorry this is such a short post, but here is the link to my facebook page if you want to know more!

http://www.facebook.com/MsLAcoed14

On June 15, 2014 I was crowned Ms Louisiana American Coed. I competed in talent, interview, personal introduction, & evening wear. Since my crowning one of the more exciting things I have done is make two appearances on JPL Now, which runs on JPTV. I was interviewed about my title for one episode, & I co-hosted the special back-to-school episode. I will be competing for the national title Thanksgiving week in Orlando, FL. That’s all for now, like my facebook page for updates! 🙂

The Impossible

So I started this blog because yesterday I saw The Impossible & decided that my recap of it was too long to tweet in tiny little 140 character increments! I don’t know why a blog has just now occurred to me as a wise way to better express my views on all things film related? I may even revise/repost my review of Sunday’s Golden Globes on here 🙂 However, here forth this page will be about the movie The Impossible.

WOW!!! It took me a while to even come up with words for this spectacular film & I still don’t think they do it justice so I’ll just describe it in my opinion. Well for starters I cried start to finish. It is not uncommon for movies to have a scene that makes me cry, but with this whole film it just never stopped. Secondly I will discuss the pure gruesomeness of the film. I have hands down the strongest stomach of anyone I have ever met & even I cringed a few times (however, I am also proud to be able to say that I never closed my eyes or looked away from the gore once, which I strongly doubt many others can say). It was done so incredibly well, which makes the story that much more believable, Tarantino should take notes! I realize that was the point though, if everything didn’t look 100% real, people would not be able to grasp the pure devastation of this event as well. Therefore I commend particularly the makeup department on doing an absolutely AMAZING job. Could not have been easy, & in my opinion the best work I’ve seen to date. Only thing I could even comment on was Naomi’s black eye, I could often see the shadow caked in the creases of her lid when her eyes were shut. But that is literally me being as absolutely nit picky as humanly possible. The work was truly astounding! I wanted to press pause on the shot of the leg (I won’t spoil it, but those who have seen the movie know the shot I am talking about) to see how that was done, because again, looked so realistic! Needless to say, it has my vote for makeup! Next would be the acting… of course Naomi is expected to be spectacular, but what shocked me was the talent of the three little boys! They were incredible! Particularly Tom Holland who plays Lucas!

Looking at the film from another perspective… I was not an ordinary observer of the film, but someone who lost my beachfront home in hurricane Katrina. To me, many of the heli shots looked just like the Gulf Coast did after Katrina. I think that is another thing that made it so difficult for me to endure this movie. That wave is so real to me! I still to this day have nightmares about the 30 ft tidal surge crashing through & taking my house & everything I’ve ever owned with it. Its always those same brown waters swirling with everything in them EXACTLY the way they captured it in the movie! I’ve never been able to describe it before to people who don’t understand, but that is EXACTLY what I see! Thus I give my vote for cinematography to this film as well. The ONLY thing the film didn’t capture (& only because it was physically impossible) is the overwhelming smell accompanying the mud covered devastation left by these waves that literally gags you. So that is one extra element I was dealing with on top of revisiting my past while watching this. Hurricanes are quite different from tsunamis don’t get me wrong! With hurricanes we are lucky enough to get a warning so we are able to pack up as much stuff as we can & head for shelter unlike the people taken by surprise & getting ripped to pieces in this movie & I am thankful for that! Even still, there are so many similarities (especially with Katrina’s record breaking tidal surge) that made this movie touch a very special place in my heart! The family this film was based on was on vacation when the Tsunami hit. (SPOILER ALERT) Once they were lucky enough to survive the wave & be reunited with each other, they had a home to go to. That was not the case for us after Katrina & many of those Thai people in the movie. So keep that in mind when you see this movie. For the average person who is affected by the intensity of the event in this movie, take into consideration how much harder it is for people who have lost everything & were maybe just lucky to even escape with their life in tragedies like this, house fires, & most recently hurricane Sandy.

Ultimately I give this movie 5 gold stars, two thumbs up, etc etc etc… Motion Picture of the Year, hell, Motion Picture of my Lifetime! I don’t know the family personally or how well their story was portrayed through this film, but I think the impact is the same regardless. & I give mad props to the bravery & determination exhibited by all 5 members of the marvelous family who endured this! My heart goes out to you & everyone affected by this horrific event! 9 years later & I’m sure things are still being rebuilt & this film stirs up many memories. STAY STRONG! ❤

Tweets by @kimily24

Kimily24

Random bits of my brain

Author: Kimily24