New Year Day 2020

I forgot to post here that I uploaded another YouTube video last Wednesday, New Year Day. Here is the link! ❤

Appreciation Post

While I have never been lucky in love, I am very lucky in friendship! I try not to take my friends for granted, but sometimes it happens anyways. I get caught up in life’s drama & fail to realize how amazing my friends actually are. The truth is, whenever I take a step back & consider them, I have some pretty awesome friends! They are kind & they are giving, they support my goals & we always have a blast together.

I received a few gifts this year that I absolutely cherish. They may not seem like much, but they came from the heart. My roommate on a cruise in January went over & above, he got me several little happies for the trip that were so unnecessary, but great. On top of snacks & a dino door hanger, he knew I loved pigs so when he came across a tiny pig finger puppet (named Squealz) the first day, he got him for me. The day I went swimming with the piggies, he had our room attendant fold me a towel pig.

A few months later, when I arrived to meet my friends in Canada, the first thing my buddy did was place the most beautiful pashmina over my head. I was shocked & couldn’t believe it was for me. He said he just came across it in a store & thought I would like the colors so he got it for me. I was in awe & almost burst into tears.

Again, these may not seem like fancy gifts, but I promise the gesture is grand! & they meant the absolute world to me! It is not about the size of the gift or the price tag on it, but rather the thought behind the gift that counts. Or when someone knows you so well that just seeing something they know you would like it & are generous enough to get it for you. I’m not saying that gifts make, or even strengthen, a friendship. But I am just reflecting on friendships today & little gestures like these don’t go unnoticed! It is important to practice gratitude daily & today I am thankful for my friends! ❤

Here are some photos of the pashmina & piggies.

Unworthy (religious)

As the heavy rain falls down

It seems my world may end

I inhale the water & drown

‘Cause it’s better than living with what I did

I wish this was holy water

To wash away my sins

But instead this rain makes mud

So thick that I need fins

I don’t pray for a life raft

To save my evil soul

Instead I slit my own neck

Creating gills through which to blow

My God, My Father, I do not deserve your grace

I completely understand if you look into my face

As I reach your kingdom’s gates

& you banish me to Hell

I will not be surprised 

I won’t fight I won’t yell

My insides have turned toxic

My gut begins to rot

I won’t accept forgiveness

My stomach is a knot

Swelling from the inside

Soon to burst like a balloon

Spraying my wicked ways

Like confetti across the room

I should be quarantined

To protect others from my flesh

But I know that you forgive me

& my slate has been refreshed

There is no amount of gratitude 

To thank you for your love

I will never be worthy

I should be disposed of ~Kimily Trehern

We are not worthy of God’s love, or the gift of His son. No matter what we do, or don’t do, that will never change. No matter how good we think we are, we will never be deserving. No matter how horrible of a person we consider ourselves, he loves us anyways. The free gift of eternal life is quite literally priceless. So when you feel like you could never be forgiven, think again. You have unlimited chances. Your soul is precious. Use your mistakes to learn from. Then let go. ❤

Whose Reality?

What is a reality for other people may not be your reality. Stop chasing what isn’t yours & focus on what you have. This is something I struggle with practically 24/7. I am always seeing things I want, longing for things I don’t have. Which is stupid. I have so much to be thankful for! I feel like this has become a huge issue in current times. We live in a world where we are raised to expect instant gratification. Don’t have the body you want? Why eat healthy & work out when you can just get plastic surgery? Hungry, but you don’t want to cook or put clothes on to go out? Just order food to be delivered to your door. The list of things we can acquire at the drop of a hat is endless. It has become the new norm for people to slack on the work & expect the same results. Who needs to study when you can cheat? Why practice when you can sabotage your opponent? It’s utterly ridiculous! 

The truth is we aren’t meant to have everything. We have to find what we love, what we want, what we care about more than anything else in the world & work for it. Work to get it, & work to keep it. Whether it is a career, a trophy, a body, a score, a talent, or anything else, if you care about it, put in the effort! Think about your most prized possession. Unless you are a complete brat, I’m certain you can think of something, or someone, you care about. When you are attached to something, or someone, you want to protect it right? Take care of it. Polish that trophy, so to speak. You wouldn’t throw your nicest china to be shattered on the ground. Whatever that thing you care about may be, treat it as such.

Something that occurs too much in today’s society is people chasing people who already belong to someone else. As always, I am not a perfect person, but I must say one thing I absolutely can not stand is someone chasing a person who is already in a committed relationship, specifically marriage. If a person is already taken, move on, & find your own! Here’s a little secret: once a cheater, always a cheater. If he/she is willing to cheat on their significant other with you, why on earth would you be daft enough to believe they wouldn’t cheat on you with the next best thing to come along? But enough of that.

My point is, you can’t just expect to get everything you see or want. If you have access to read this, that means you have internet, which puts the whole world at your fingertips. & yes, there are some things, which given you have the funds for, you can acquire at the touch of a button. But some things don’t work that way. & even if they did, they are better earned than just received. Think again about your prized possession. Why do you care about it so much? Perhaps it’s a family heirloom. But, perhaps you won it in a competition. You worked for it, you earned it, it holds meaning. 

This holds true with relationships (circling back). When you find someone of significance in your life you work to gain their trust, you treat them with respect. This is not always an easy task. But if you care about them, if you don’t want to lose them, you will continue to treat them with respect. They are a prize, so polish that trophy, make it shine. You will get out of a relationship what you put in. Relationships don’t just happen, they are acquired through work, trying to impress each other. They are maintained through even harder work, treating one another as you each deserve. So don’t go barking up the wrong tree. The tree may be well defended, & even if it’s not, you may be trespassing. 

Be grateful for what you have. Of course, you should always strive to achieve more, that’s part of self growth & development. But be realistic & know that some things just aren’t meant for you. Love & respect the things that are. ❤

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Positive Perspective

Perspective is everything. A good friend said to me the other day “A grateful heart equals a happy life. Regardless of the situation. If you tell yourself what you’re thankful for you will see things in a different light.” He was absolutely right. I saw the movie Every Day today & while I don’t think it was the best movie ever it did make some valid points. The world appears different through everyone’s eyes & there are a lot of different eyes on this planet. Some brown, some blue, some green, some blind, most in pairs, but some not. The world appears different to every one as do all situations. You may look at your meal & think hmmm that’s not what I really wanted or it isn’t cooked properly, while someone else would just be grateful to have something to eat. Don’t take for granted the things u do have no matter how insignificant they may seem. Gratitude is key to a positive mindset, & positivity is the key to happiness. So find ONE thing to be grateful for & you’ll be on the right track ❤