Why Me?

If you’re anything like me you may have spent your whole life searching for love in all the wrong places. Going after one failed relationship after another. The older you get the more desperate you become, it seems, to find love & settle down. Everyone else is doing it right? But how many of those people are actually in happy, successful relationships? As I look around I see more divorces, more broken homes, more miserable humans than loving, in tact couples. 

Having come from a family with no divorces in its history & two wonderful parents who are making their 40th anniversary this year, I have a very strong opinion of what a marriage is supposed to look like. Perhaps that is another reason why I have been so unlucky in love. I have every intention of going to the grave married to the same man who is my one & only husband I will ever have. In which case, I am not willing to settle, & neither should you! Don’t waste your time & money hopping into an unstable relationship just for the title of it or because you feel it’s what you should do or because you are so determined to find love. 

As I so often write about, & so often have to remind myself, life is a game of waiting. It is not fun, but you are not in control & it’s better that way. It’s less of a headache when you aren’t trying to control every move of your life & more exciting too.

But, if you are wondering why it is taking you so much longer to find love than so many around you, you may begin to question what is wrong with yourself? I am here to tell you today that perhaps the problem does not lie with you. Perhaps the problem is in finding a person who is good enough for you. People can tell you this as much as they want just as I am doing, but until you grasp this concept for yourself, as I did today, you will never be satisfied.

If you are not willing to settle for mediocrity, if you are determined to find you perfect mate (keep in mind everyone has flaws), then you may have a longer journey to travel than others. For me, however, as much as I would like to claim the title of dumper, I have been the dumpee more times than not. I have been treated poorly, ghosted several times, & been utterly refused in just about every way humanly possible. I have asked what was wrong with myself more times than I can count stars in the sky. But, today it finally seemed to click. You hear all of these peppy quotes about how love will find you when the time is right & phrases reassuring you you are worthy. But, just like everything else, until you believe that for yourself, those are just words. I’m sure what I am saying may just be words to you today too. It is only because things have finally clicked with me that I am able to say this with true conviction. 

Just continue to work on yourself. Because as you grow & improve it becomes increasingly difficult for someone to be worthy of you. That helps narrow out the riffraff. Just be patient, because that means it is going to be that much harder to find your perfect mate. & your perfect person may not be ready for you yet. They may need to mature more before they are ready to take on a relationship. That is a two way street. Your future spouse may be just as anxiously waiting on you, but you are not in a position to fulfill their dreams yet. So as you grow, know that they are growing too. You are both maturing into the people you need to be for each other in time. That time just may not be now. Do not end the journey towards self improvement due to being discouraged by rejection. Rather continue to develop so that you are ready when your person is ready for you. Then you can thrive & flourish together. ❤

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